"Learn To CODE!": How a 7-year-old ghetto kid without a computer learned to code in one day.

How a 7-year-old ghetto kid without a computer learned to code in one day.

You're probably too lazy to learn to code. Hey. Me, too. 

When a programmer is so lazy he teaches the computer to do his work for him, there's a name for it.

That's what I like best about you, in fact. Laziness. You're qualified. You've got the job. [Not a job offer.]

This is called being "constructively lazy."

It's not as good as being stupid, but we'll get to that.

This article, like all the articles I write for you, will change your life if you use it. And even if you don't.

Meanwhile, I can barely pay for my $2.50 box of Top Ramen noodles from Wal-Mart, probably burning it on the stove.  

And none of this is written in my mom's basement, of course. Because my mom's double wide doesn't have a basement.

Here's how to be lazy enough to make yourself useful. 

I'll tell you how I learned to code in one day at age 7 or 8 in the ghetto projects without a computer.

I couldn't afford a real computer, so I hooked up a Timex keyboard to a black-and-white TV. But the keyboard had BASIC, a computer programming language loaded onto it.

In one day, I wrote my first computer program on it.

Today, I would never do something like that, because the world has changed.

AI (genetic algorithms and shit) is now successfully generating computer code for the laziest programmers on the planet.

When I say they're NOW doing it, what I mean is they've been doing it successfully for the last 30 years.

But now it's finally trendy enough to mention on blogs and YouTube videos, thanks to Elon Musk mentioning how dangerous it is. Summoning the demon.

Thanks, Elon Musk.

When an agnostic guy who's life is about making vehicles that solve climate change, [Insert LOL and repeat.] you should feel free to "summon the demon", too.

The guy is clearly too stupid to do anything but make money. What does he know?

(He knows how to get me into genetic algorithms that generate neural networks. That's all he knows how to do.)

But making a computer write your code for you still isn't easy enough. I need you to be incredibly lazy.

Like Elon Musk. Who simply can't be bothered. He's lazy. Other people do most of his work for him.

WHAT A LOSER!

But let's back up. 

If you're a white man, "learn to code" is often pretty good advice, even if you only have average intelligence.

A coder basically does the job clerks used to do, which amounts to writing and submitting very technical correspondence on behalf of someone else.

Some creativity, problem-solving used to be a big part of the job. 

It still is. But it used to be, too. 

Then GitHub came along and I guess it's turned 90% of the "coding" into hacking together other people's copy-and-paste code. 

That's cheating!

Cutting and pasting other people's work is something I've always been able to do. Even since I was a 7 year old software developer.

I've been doing it to script and program in languages I don't know. In fact, I'm not fluent in a single computer language, and never needed to be.

Give me a chunk of CSS or Python, and I can customize that crap or disable the annoying footer at the bottom of a Wordpress theme without taking a class on classes. I can just comment out what I don't want.

Before there was Github, there were books with examples of code. I learned from that.

Coding is like lifting weights. Most of the stuff the pros do is just showing off for their friends. It has nothing to do with solving the problem. They look busy, but nothing's getting done.

It's like the bench press. I never learned how to do the bench press because I never had the desire to impress any of my friends.

If someone was doing the bench press, he was probably doing it for the wrong reasons. I intuitively knew this, and later on found Mark Rippetoe. When asked about the bench press, the first thing he asks is "WHY do you want to do the bench press?"

Because if you're doing it for the wrong reason, then you shouldn't be doing it at all.

Coding is like that. A bunch of macho ultra-nerds are showing off, learning to type fast and practicing looking cool.

They have plenty of time to do that because they...

DON'T KNOW HOW TO SOLVE PROBLEMS.

Some people submit cool white papers. They have lots of time on their hands because they don't know how to solve problems, either.

They're just flexing their pecs. They don't know how to fight. Don't know how to pick their battles. Don't know how to solve problems.

But you'll learn a lot about solving problems from a 7 year old broke ghetto kid who grew up learning how to solve difficult problems. 

And it will change your life.

If you want the computer to do something, you're told to add some code, hit the button, remove the errors and try again. This approach hasn't changed in a long time.

Trial and error is expensive. And time is money, so don't try it.

Instead, be a lazy, cheating stupid idiot. Here's how:

If I've got some code in a "language"  I don't know, and something needs to be added, I'm going to copy and paste it from somewhere else. 

Want a tracking Pixel added to a website? No problem. Google, read, copy and paste.

I was "coding" this way from about age 7, even before we had a proper PC. Even before there was Google.

I copying code from a book onto the screen, then started messing with the values.

This really cuts down on the debugging.

Here's a tip for you. Don't worry about what the book says. It's written by idiots, as I'll explain later.

The help files and books and forums were full of words I didn't know and couldn't use.

Whether I understand what an "argument" or "operator" is is irrelevant. The books, papers, and help files were full of this industry jargon.

But I just wanted to put pretty pictures on the screen. I didn't have a college or a dictionary that could explain what this moron means by "argument" or "operator."

So I just ignore what he says, leave the fancy brackets where they are, lie, cheat, and steal, rip off the guy's hard work, and put pretty pictures on the screen for free.

Back when I was 7, I was to stupid to know it was wrong. So I did it.

Thank God I finally learned you're not allowed to cheat off your neighbor's paper, or steal credit, or present his work as if it's your own.

Guys who do that are real assholes who only know how to run SpaceX.

But if BASIC made things easy, QuickBasic made things even easier. Again, the help files were written by people who don't know how to speak English.

"Arugments", "experssions", and "operators." Ignored it.

Wrote some games. Played the games. No debugging needed.

Why no debugging? Because I learned how to do it write. How to be a hack fraud scumbag cheating rip-off artist who cuts and pastes.

And then I just change the stuff in the middle and leave the forms as they are. I don't know what the brackets do. I don't care. 

I just want my game to run.

It runs better when I don't screw with the formula and continue.

Cut and paste. Like cutting out a photo and pasting it into a photo album. A picture of the thing you want.

And then you draw a mustache on it.

That's it. That's what I know how to do. 

I liked QuickBasic better, because you didn't even have to put line numbers on every line. Press F5 to make it run. Cool. Messed with that for awhile.

Eventually, after about 12 years of coding, a friend took pity on my and showed me how to REALLY use a computer. 

He showed me a few secrets about the internet. 

Secrets worth knowing.

Through this mentor, I got an intensive, 6-month course on stuff I had no idea about. 

Like the nightmare of installing video games and dealing with "plug-and-pray" machines.

I was broke. Always broke. Used to being broke. Used to eating the same flavor of Ramen noodles for months and months. 

So we used other people's computers at first. Then used other people's money to buy computers. 

I learned a bit of hacking, and until about 5 years ago, I'd never met a computer fast enough to keep up with me. 

I still bog down my smartphone sometimes, but it's nothing like those low-RAM days when the hard drive would start grinding away for 20 minutes, locking up the screen.

(When the phone bogs down, I push a button on my home screen and it frees up the memory. I really wish it would do that automatically for me, since I do it several times a day.)

Eventually, my solution was to upgrade the RAM, once I realized I had a job and could afford more memory. But in my 20s, computers were slow and women were fast.

More than a decade later, I found out how cheap it is to keep a PC up-to-date. $100 per year buys the new parts. You can still sell the old ones on eBay and the upgrade costs you less than $50. You're only 6 months behind everyone else. Not too bad.

As a coder, you're basically a technical writer.

A technical writer does a lot more than write. In my last year of high school, I learned that 80% of your pay, even at the most technical jobs, depends on your ability to get along with people.

I found out the year I graduated high school. What a waste of 13 years!

If this is true, I wish my teachers had encouraged me to socialize instead of "STOP SOCIALIZING!" 

Man. They really screwed up my earning potential that way. I almost wish I could go back and tell all my teachers, "SOCIALIZING IS THE MOST VALUABLE THING I WILL LEARN TODAY."

And it is.

If you're writing in a different "language", style, and format, and there's probably basic knowledge of algebra that's going to be helpful. That's true.

Knowing how to read, write, type, and look up an answer is helpful.

Knowing how to look busy is helpful. 

The code isn't an alien language. It's not a language at all.

It's all this "argument" and "operator" and "expression" garbage in the technical manuals is written by idiots who don't know how to express themselves, have probably lost every argument, and the only thing they're an operator of a nutty wagon.

Thanks for nothing, Microsoft. Can you speak like a human being, please? I guess not.

Today, I'd just go on YouTube or the forums, and take my pick of other coders who know how to speak English.

I know English. Why don't they?

I learn from the other guys. Same way I learned about the internet.

The same way I learned how to really use a computer. 

By bitching about game installs and plug-and-pray hardware incompatibilities. Because I learned from this one guy, I thought it was impossible to fix a computer without yelling at how stupid it was.

I can't lie. It really helped.

He would go into detailed and specific rants and tirades that identified how stupid this idiot asshole was who'd screwed him over and what moron probably hired him was too stupid to fire him. 

Eventually he'd get around to complaining about what was wrong with the compiler or the hardware driver, getting quieter and quieter until he was saying, "You'd have to do this and this..." or "they're making me go all the way into this file and fix it for them".

He'd go into the file and fix it.

Linux was like that. The operating system doesn't work. You have to go and screw with it to hold it together with bailing wire.

If you don't have an Ubuntu-capable computer, by the way, then you probably don't value virtual machines and disk images that would prevent you from having to completely re-install every week, and separate file systems that span across redundant, swappable drives so you don't lose data. 

(Useful to know about that kind of stuff, but it's a topic for another time.)

To be a "coder" (as they're called, for some reason, when they should be called a "code paster") requires average intelligence or so.

You don't have to be a genius. In fact, it helps to be a stupid cheating hack.

Some of the greatest programmers have amazing intelligence. Some of the really good programmers have average intelligence.

But they can solve problems.

The same goes for janitors. Being a great janitor isn't about how smart you are.

Unless you can find a way around it, yes, you have to be able to read and write. Which rules out half the high school graduates in America, but there's a workaround in this article.

The technical writers who write language manuals probably should have stopped socializing long enough to learn how to read and speak in English at some point, but they never did.

The percentage of people who read this blog and emails versus the number who listen to my podcasts is STAGGERING.

Small numbers read. Large numbers listen.

I had to carefully dial back the language on this blog. I'm not even sure I should be throwing around $5 words like "incompatibility", a fancy word which just means "this thing don't work with the other one. You gotta have something else for it."

If someone explains what the fancy word means, a child can understand it. 

If you have to use a fancy word, it's probably because you forgot how to speak English.

Plenty of pros think they needed to pay a man $200,000 so they can learn to talk in a manner that most people won't know what they're talking about.

Trump got elected by speaking on a third grade level. Because voters vote on a third grade level. So he had to learn how to speak to voters.

Unfortunately, he's already paid a big expensive school that teaches rich kids how to become inexorably incomprehensible to the electorate.

And if I'm looking at the fossil record correctly, those big-brain dudes usually get smashed dead with a rock until there's none of them left alive.

Brain size has been shrinking. Being too smart has proven to be a biological disadvantage over the past 55,000 years. I don't recommend it.

Don't get too smart, because I don't care who you are. You're not smarter than that rock.

If you went and paid someone $200,000 to teach you how to be inexorably incomprehensible to the electorate, I'd pay another $200,000 to get someone to teach you how to speak English instead.

But if you're dumb enough to think you need college, then you probably won't pay me to perform that service for you. That's ok. You'll learn. You'll learn the hard way. And probably get smashed by a rock.

Because what college professors and books succeeded in teaching you is how to be unable to communicate with 99% of the population. 

And you already knew how to do that before you were a toddler. You don't need anyone to make you sound like an adult from a Charlie Brown cartoon.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in the students. I just don't believe in their professors. 

I've been around a long time and learned a lot of stuff. 

You can live a long, happy life without needing to know the meaning of any word that's not in the Bible.

Every programming "language" is written in English. 

If you call something a "language", people will assume it takes 3 years to learn how to do it.

If you're a young man, come to me to learn the language of seduction. How long does it take? Three years. I set that expectation by calling it a language.

If you want to learn the language of artificial intelligence, I just told you it takes 3 years to learn artificial intelligence.

Nobody thinks it will take 3 you years to learn to play guitar except the music teacher. But everyone thinks it will take 3 or 4 years to learn to code.

When I was 7, nobody told me it would take me 3 years. I was therefore coding the same afternoon I opened up the GOD DAMN BOOK.

It didn't really take a day. It took a couple hours. Like baking a cake.

And it wasn't "Hello, World." It was a 100-line program that put a random starfield on the screen connected to the Radio Shack TRS-80 computer. 

80 stands for megahertz, I suspect. I don't really know.

When I upgraded to a 200 megahertz machine, called the something-or-other 250, I was writing stories on word processors and text adventure games in QuickBasic. Also learned some of that stuff from a book. 

Why did I write a text adventure game?

Come to think of it, it's probably because I couldn't afford to take the bus to the mall to buy my own video game. So I wrote my own game. True story.

I had learned that books sometimes contain useful information, and once you get a credit card from the library, you can get books for free as long as you return them.

But at the library, they make you catch up current with your interest payments before they'll give you any more books.

I know libraries don't charge interest, but I know that I paid them some "overdraft fees" once in awhile because I was using my "credit card" to take things home that I couldn't afford to pay for.

I guess I can blame libraries for conditioning me to take on credit card debt. What I was supposed to learn to do is to pay my fines, or return the books on time.

You can borrow books for free for 30 days. Same is true with money. The probem is I never returned either one on time. Too busy working.

Computer programs also have libraries you can borrow from. The difference is there are no late fees. So it's a better library.

Some people pay a lot of money to build those free libraries for you. The whole community relies on them. But you don't need money to use a library. 

Great. I'd already learned how to use other people's work!

#1) To solve my problems without really knowing what I'm doing, and 

#3) Without spending any of my own money.

These continue to be very valuable life skills, by the way. Obviously, Trump is slightly better at those two things.

Using other people's money to go shopping is great. You already know how to do this.

1) First you spend your parent's money. 

2) Then you spend the employer's money. 

3) And then you learn to spend a credit card company's money.

4) If you're lucky enough to learn some competence, you'll learn how to spend the banker's and investor's money for them. 

Why? Because if they've got a whole pile of money, they obviously don't know how to spend it.

And you can borrow it for free for 30 days, try it out and see how you like it. Just remember to give it back on time, or you'll pay them "late charges."

After awhile, the big rich company Microsoft, which started by using IBM's money to buy DOS, took QuickBasic off the standard install of Windows, probably because too many white boys like me had been teaching ourselves to code.

And maybe because they wanted you to pay money for a compiler or something. So I stopped coding for awhile. I couldn't afford it and the free ones were a nightmare.

But I did do some ray tracing. Printed out the manual at school and read the book on the bus one weekend and started ray tracing on Monday. 

Same way I learned to ride a motorcycle. By reading the manual and riding it off the lot the next day. The cashier taught me how to shift gears on my way out of the store.

True story. 

I also learned to meet girls by reading the manual, by the way. Well, I knew how to meet them. I just didn't know any logistics and strategy to structure a date properly to make success automatic. So I paid for the course, studied it, and got the results I wanted for years. 

After hearing from a friend of a friend that someone was giving a free class in C, (this was my ONLY friend, by the way) and realizing how bad a programmer I really was, I briefly entertained the idea of learning C++.

There was all this buzz about it. Object oriented. High paying jobs. Boring stuff. Nobody knew how to communicate to me in a way that made C++ sound appealing to me, so I never learned it.

Eventually, I read a big textbook called Code Complete. Cover-to-cover.

It was a language agnostic, C-centered book. In other words, it didn't matter what language you were using. It was giving wisdom about coding in general. It showed many examples.

As a result, I continue to this day to believe I'm a better, more competent and natural computer programmer than most of the over-educated brainiac idiots who work for Microsoft who can't be bothered to read and can't follow instructions.

And because I read Code Complete, I know why smart professionals still end up with buggy code, why buffer over-run attacks (exploits) still work, and I know that programmers are too stupid to write better tools to prevent this nonsense in the first place and why they don't value the manual.

If a man doesn't learn to value a book of wisdom like the Bible, he'll never learn to value a manual. This is why schools hit you over the head with useless information in heavy books. So you're guaranteed to fail at life.

Remember: Their primary job is to get you killed.

These stupid idiots called programmers will hop on a big, expensive airplane, fly to a big, stupid conference to learn the same "best practices" they were teaching when my dad was teaching himself to code for the first time in his 50s and 60s. 

I'm not even sure you need to know how to read and write. If management can't read and write, how will they even know the difference?

In fact, if you know how to read and write, I'm not so sure we can learn how to use you as a programmer on our team. 

What we need are problem solvers. If you can't read, and you're reading this right now, then maybe you're a problem solver.

You've obviously solved the problem.

Who knows? Maybe you can help me figure out some text-to-speech solutions.

But most people never do anything worth doing.

In fact, 80% of Facebook users will NEVER post a single message on Facebook. Why? They've told me. They don't want Facebook to own their information.

This is like hopping over to Africa with your telephoto lens and finding out the tribe doesn't like you "stealing their soul" with your camera.

I can't speak 20 languages, and don't have 3 years to learn them all, but I can solve problems. 

For example, I've traveled all over the world. The only place I've ever been where I can't easily, instantly find someone who speaks English is here in the United States. Seriously.

It's Americans who can't speak English. But sometimes they can solve problems.

I have an app on my phone that translates everything I write or say into another language for me.

The app instantly writes it out onto the screen for me, and even speaks it out loud in case I want to talk to a Puerto Rican can't read.

It's freee, but it's an expensive service because I have to pay for an unlimited data plan every month or it will stop working.

What's even more expensive about it is trying to speak foreign languages yourself. Rarely is that the right answer. And multi-lingual people are a dime a dozen, all things considered. 

In the old days, you could get free interenet over the phone. Phones were cheap and long distance was expensive. 

Now you need to pay a big phone bill to get free internet and free international long-distance calling and free international long-distance web browsing, video, and posting YouTube comments.

People don't think about what they're doing. We use our phone like a computer and we use our computer like it's a phone. 

If someone told me I would someday Skype from my  desktop and use apps on my phone, I'd be surprised. 

With free long distance and expensive home phones, things are better for business and worse for consumers. That wealth has been transferred.

You live in a big house with a wife and no kids. The contractor got paid to build a bigger house. The realtor got paid to sell it to you. The rich are better off because they have more of your money and you need to work more hours to pay for a home you don't use very much.

In that way, your grandparents were better off. If you'd made your home-buying decision based on the high cost of square foot hours, you probably wouldn't want a big house. You'd want a part time job instead of full time. 

You might even want a remote job, like coding from home.

But once I had a job, I was always ahead of the curve. I was ahead of my boss.

I had a Pocket PC. Using a portable spreadsheet on it, I could calculate how much money I'd have at the end of an assignment and store up lots of emails for the road. One problem.

Everyone thought my phone was HUGE.

They didn't care that I knew exactly how much money I was going to earn and how many hours I needed to work to reach my goals. 

Didn't matter how much I worked for them already. The number of hours they wanted me to work was always "MORE".

Then hire more people, dipshit.

(I had a better attitude back then.)

Then smart phones showed up and started getting bigger, I got a tiny phone, and everyone thought my phone was too small.

My phone went from too big when phones were getting smaller to too small when phones were getting bigger. 

In every case, I knew I was right and everyone else was wrong. This has been a reoccurring theme.

The world is so stupid they don't shower me with their virgin daughter and beg for their lives? Wow. Idiots. Who needs them? I've got computers, brains, and now that I'm older and read the Bible cover-to-cover, I've cultivated the appropriate level of disdain for my fellow man.

The hardest part is forgiving them. Because they all deserve to die, and it costs me nothing to kill them by the tens of millions. What costs me something is trying to find some reason to let them live another year.

Since masses of Americans are going to die anyway, it's merely a question of which ones live. If you're on the fence, there's hope. If you're saved, that's fine. If you're doomed, I'm learning how to create genetic algorithms to summon the demon, as Musk puts it.

Maybe God sent the Bible to save you from people like me. But we'll see. 

Ah, good. The ducks are back. Useful animals. 

Feed them and they come to you, produce eggs and feathers and meat, fertilize the lawn for you, their bones make a fine broth, and they more than repay you for the cost of the feed.

I'm sorry to say I can't say the same about most people. The average earthworm is worth more than the average person because earthworms don't watch Seinfeld.

300 pounds of earthworms produce a better return on investment than 300 pounds of computer programmers. And they cost less to feed.

For awhile, I was paying about $10 a month for a cell phone, because I'd figured out that paying $200 per month, like some do, ends up costing as much as a house.

After running some spreadsheets and mental math, I realized girlfriends were cheaper per year (and per night) than wives or one-night lays, but strippers were by far the cheapest girlfriend per year because you can share them. 

Like NetJets.

What changes the equation is when you shack up with a girl who's on the pill and pays the bills. In theory, this should be cheaper than strippers. But we have yet to turn a profit.

The "girlfriend" who turns tricks for you is an income producer. And let's just say I wasn't always a Christian, so it more than crossed my mind.

I knew a guy who bought a prostitute because he wanted to buy her freedom. When he told me the story of how much she wanted to pay him in return each week, that's when the gears started turning.

Some women still value men. Those women are called prostitutes.

Back to coding.

If you're a young man, you probably shouldn't attend any school that doesn't pay you to attend.

Medical doctors are paid up to $7,000 for every hour of annual re-training they're required to take. Nobody's told you that because nobody else has done that math.

They could continue practicing medicine if they wish. Or they could stop practicing medicine. To keep earning money, they are required to take 40 to 65 hours per year of mandatory training.

They will earn another $2,000 to $7,000 this year per hour of training they're required to take.

Therefore it's true. They are paid thousands of dollars per hour of training.

If nothing's changed in the past few decades, car salesman are still given a couple of weeks of paid training. After that, they never learn anything again. 

Their turn-over is high. The new guys last 6 months or so. Suppose it costs $3,000 a month to onboard a new guy, and it's 3 months before he's on commission.

That's an onboarding cost of $9,000 or so, more or less, if we're keeping it simple.

If they turn in average performance, they'll still be earning $3,000 per month when they quit. Total earned is 3,000 x 6 months. That's $18,000. (Not an income claim.)

This guy earned $18,000. He was probably only given 2 weeks of actual training. If that.

The actual training time was probably only 6 hours per day. Like sitting in elementary school. Probably only 5 days per week.

That's a total of 30 hours per week of training for two weeks.

So the average new guy earns $18,000 in 6 months after 60 hours of training. You know what that works out to?

That's right. You guessed it. (Pulling out my calculator real quick. Better make sure the teacher doesn't see.) 

He made $30 for every hour of training. If he paid attention and took notes, he probably earned a lot more. And the company earned a lot more.

Too bad most companies are too cheap and stupid to hand out paper and pencils so students can take notes in class.

That's because America is run by complete retards. It doesn't take much to stand out. 90% of the difficulty is breaking through the thick, compacted levels of carbonized shit that have been crammed into your head under so much heat and pressure it's turning as hard as diamond.

A Gary Halbert metaphor. Most people aren't smart enough to read his stuff even when I mention his name 60 times. So I gotta mention him 60 more times.

And when that fails, I'll make you pay to fly across the country, take you on a long hike to the top of the mountain to see me, and then for a few hundred more bucks, maybe I'll tell you to read Gary Halbert's free newsletter on his website.

If you're so severely mentally impaired that you have to go to an Ivy league college and pay those assholes for an education, then you're clearly an idiot.

Because you pay $250 for every hour of training when you could have gotten some college-educated moron to pay you to learn.

If you're even dumber still, like a drooling idiot who wears a bike helmet to the mall, then you have to pay someone with common sense about $100,000 per year.

That's the guy who teaches you how to be less stupid, how to use shorter sentences and smaller words so people can start to understand you and do what you tell them to do.

Not me. I wasn't dumb enough to go to college. So I didn't go. I didn't meet the minimum dumbness requirements.

I know of a guy so dumb, he had to pay a million dollars for his education from guys like Gary Halbert.

Where did he get the money? He teaches collegetards and carpet cleaners to be less stupid, and they pay pay him money to smack the idiot ideas out of their heads.

He then takes the profits of bitch-slapping over-educated idiots and rolls it into more education so someone can teach him how to be less stupid.

Ask anyone. They'll tell you this guy is pretty dumb. All he knows how to do is make money and delegate. 

His podcast is called "I love marketing." And he doesn't even know anything. He only teaches you stuff he learned from other people. And he teaches carpet cleaners to make more money. 

The problem is he's doesn't know how to run a carpet cleaning business. He says so himself. He had to learn what other industries were doing. Which is cheating. 

This is like getting up in class, going down the hall to copy off your neighbor's paper in another class. Your teacher would smack you with a ruler if you did that.

He's also one of the smartest money-makers on the planet. But he can only teach you how to make money.

His name is Joe Polish. And if he didn't have a secretary, I'm quite sure he would never in his life accomplish a damn thing.

Anyway, if you want to be a coder, the easiest way to write a computer program is to hire someone to do it for you.

So I guess what I'm saying is this. If you want to learn how to code, get some idiot to pay you a salary while he's teaching you how to sell.

And then use that skill to sell investors and traditional lenders giving you enough money to buy a bunch of coders.

But you can forget about hiring regular coders who "know how to program." Because what you need is a problem solver. Not a coder.

And the cheapest problem-solver is a computer. Computers can't do everything yet. Mostly because nobody has asked them to do it. They're smart enough to do lots of things, often better than most (or all) humans at...

Reading, writing, composing music, driving, manufacturing, learning, etc. 

And they can help you do everything you want to do. Computers help us us read, write, compose, drive, manufacture, and learn better than ever. Better than our competitors do, because our competitor is a big company full of stupid people like us.

All they know how to do is make money.

What you need is a complete friggin' idiot like that. As many as you can get. And you should probably pay a few grand to on-board them, pay some supervisors with college degrees in being a friggin' idiot to supervise them, and managers with ivy league degrees in being a drooling moron.

Then your only job is to make sure his helmet strap is tight enough because you can delegate everything else.

And that's how to create an IT startup in Silicon Valley.

And since just about everyone in America is a drooling idiot (except the secretary), you can safely disreagard the stupid idiot things they say and just make money.

But I'll tell you what you really want to do. Hire yourself some ivy league programmer who's as stupid as Mark Zuckerberg. 

Someone so stupid, he's probably paying people to make the artificial intelligence that takes 80% of the jobs in the developed world.

Right now, artificial intelligence can do anything, including improving itself, except learn how to replace guys like Mark Zuckerberg.

Why? Probably because we haven't asked them to do so. Why not? 

Probably because the guys who are dumb enough to run huge, money-making companies don't want to be replaced. Imagine that.

An AI-assisted corporate warlord who hires other AI-assisted humans should be able to replace those guys somehow. 

To lay them off the same way they're firing all the truck drivers, taxi drivers, and delivery drivers.

But so far, we cheating assholes just not stupid and lazy enough yet.