Weekend Project: Fair Use Starts a Food Forest

Who's cheaper than a Yahooden? None but a frugal Finlander. 

It's "too late" to plant. It's the end of July. But I don't care. I'm planting my year-round food forest right NOW and I'm NOT PAYING FOR IT.  

Driving to the store for EBT food and/or the food bank costs me gasoline and car insurance, takes time out of my day, you gotta wait in long lines.

Folks, I'm way too cheap for that. So this insanity ends now. I want to be able to feed an army.

Fair Use* wearing Therma-Freeze (see below) borrows some free beauty bark to dress up an ugly mess wood chips  

In the time it takes to wait in line at a soup kitchen, you can grow your own food. And for about the same amount of money.

Are you tired of big banks eating your lunch? Me, too. I want to put those big food bankers out of business. How? I plan to run them out of town with free, year-round produce growing everywhere.

I used two truckloads of free wood chips delivered and dumped just about as fast as ordering a pizza (and some free beauty bark from down the street to make it look nicer) to start growing a food forest in the suburbs. 

How long will I wait for results?

I'm expecting the first fruits from my fruit trees as soon as NEXT YEAR. 

That's new fruit trees, already producing fruit in their 2nd year. But in fact, I won't even wait that long. Why?

Because I may have berries within a month, potatoes and carrots all winter, and corn by Thanksgiving. 

That's right. I may even get a Thanksgiving corn crop if I plant it now, along with potatoes, yams,
$99 electric chipper
and carrots. Even though it's the end of July now and I've already been told I waited too long to plant anything this year.

Ye of little faith.

I took some of that wasted gas money and spent it on a couple of trees, some "survival seeds" and a $3 bag of potting soil. (I also invested in a cheap $99 electric wood chipper, but it's a luxury item, as you'll see.)

They Said I Was A Dreamer

Some will say it's impossible. They might call me crazy. But I believe you're about to see a miracle from the Lord Almighty.

Image result for mel brooks god
What the globalist elites
don't want you to know.
Why am I doing this? 

For the same reason you should. Out of your love and obedience to God. 

Our Lord and savior Jesus Christ told me to lead you by example. That's what I'm doing. I want you to produce mass-media propaganda about growing healthy food. 

I want you to revealing that the Lord is the commonality of all success. It's not about the wood chips. It's about what you must do to receive these kind of breakthroughs from God.

To succeed and prosper and have easy abundance, you must walk in God's ways and walk not in the counsel of the ungodly.

Then God will give you things billionaires don't have. Like real food.

I want you to encourage others to praise the Lord so that everything you do will prosper.

So that's what I'm doing.

It's hard to persuade a hungry audience. The Lord gives you food so you'll listen. Because preaching ain't worth a damn unless there's some food in your hand. One of my 500+ persuasion techniques is...

I talk while you eat.

There's a reason why Jesus multiplied the bread and fish and turned water into wine. It's really friggin' hard to pay attention to scripture when it's 30 goddamn minutes until your lunch break. At lunch and after meals, people are more sleepy and suggestible.  

Jesus fed the multitude and said you'd do even greater things.

"Fine. Yeah. Whatever you say. That lunch was amazing. Tell me more about that time you walked on water."

People eat with bad influences. This is why their peers have much more powerful influence over kids than the churches, their boss, or their family (now that families don't eat together anymore).

Most companies pay you 2 weeks after you work. There's no longer any connection between the worker and those who sign their paychecks. Why should anyone behave responsibly in a country like this?

The Famine Is Already Here

Malnutrition: Then and now

Maybe you've never experienced a lack of food in your life. Maybe you've never even skipped a meal. 

But food prices are expected to increase this year. Famines are inevitable. Like economic recessions, they come in cycles. Nothing can stop the famine, but I can stop it from happening to you.

Our great grandparents suffered a famine in the Great Depression. They never forgot it.

Apocalypse, Now

Right now you're facing a famine. Since the 1970s or so, an ever-increasing poverty of nutrients and minerals has plagued almost all of America, causing tasteless, dry, cardboard-textured produce, disgusting vegetables causing ill health and obesity. 

Your vegetables should taste like fruit and your fruit should taste like candy. On the East Coast, imported peas taste awful. On the West Coast, imported broccoli tastes awful. And if anyone cooks brussel sprouts in my presence, I'll will gag.

Who the hell taught you that garbage in the Standard American Diet (SAD) was food?

So instead, we feed our kids sugar cereals and salty snacks. Folks, this ain't normal.

But I discovered a practically fool-proof, simple way crops can be grown all year long, even if you've never gardened before and would be moving faster if you were in a wheelchair. 

If famine is the final problem we'll face, then this is my final solution. This is chemtrail-resistant, EMP-proof gardening. An enemy could poison your well and you'd never hunger and never thirst.

The Spirit of Truth will lead you into all knowledge.

God also requires me to give away part of the increase of my land.  But I'm a bit of a cheapskate, so I wanted something easier than tithing money. God provided a way.

It's quicker, easier, and cheaper to give away ten thousand dollars worth of sweet candy fruits and vegetables than to give away a thousand dollars of cash.

Imagine what would happen in your neighborhood if your fresh fruits were sweeter and more delicious than Halloween candy? Would every kid in your neighborhood be your best friend?

Let me put it this way...

Triple Crown Thornless Blackberry Bush

The much-neglected blackberries bushes (that nobody planted) growing along  the roadside are starting to get ripe berries.

People in my neighborhood will gladly stand IN THE STREET as cars drive by and risk being hit by a car to grab as many as they can hold. Then they go back home to grab a basket and come back again. The bushes are cranking out so much fruit there's too much for the birds and human browsers.

With enough blackberries, you could create your own blackberry wine vineyard. Further south, I hear some people do the something similar, but with grapes.

Properly feeding animals and people is cheap. Cheaper than buying dog food, actually.

People usually grow inedible flowers, shrubs and grass.

There's more than enough wasted lawn space in America to feed everyone.

Monthly rent cost: Fairly low. Monthly food cost: Fairly high. Solution: Grow more food.

It makes absolutely no sense to let all this incredible God-given space go to waste.

Do your worst if you must, but please leave the cart.

Loading beauty bark from a free community pile close by.
I would recommend the EZ cart (or something very similar) instead of a wheelbarrow if you're moving dirt or chips manually.

Then again, I've sworn I'll use a skid steer if I ever get another load of wood chips. The muscles I gained from 2 days in a row of hauling for 6 hours just aren't worth all that work.

I wish the EZ cart would carry at least 3 times as much weight per load. Because the wheel is at the center of gravity, it's practically weightless to move.

The second load came with lots of twig-size branches throughout which made it almost twice as hard to spread the mulch. I found a $99, 15-amp electric wood chipper to handle this and other inevitable yard waste. I've actually got quite a backlog that already needs chipped and composted, as well as trees need pruning to let a little more light through to the yard.

God will make you popular and protected. See Isaiah 58.

Keeping Cool While Working:

Cooling vests are expensive. Therma-Freeze Ice packs are relatively cheap. 

How to get them swole: Soak your Therma-freeze panels. The powder inside becomes a hydrated gel that stores cold much better than ice, and without melting. You can make them into a cooling vest with duct tape and (when dry) stack them in your freezer.

Duct tape is good enough and holds things together. (A bit like those who repent of their sins.)

Cheap Therma-freeze packets must be swolen to hold the cold effectively.

Where does garbage go?

Any food waste is quickly converted (by soldier flies) into bird food to make plenty of cheap meat and eggs.

How to convert a supply of low-grade food into high-grade food. 

Any bin of un-refrigerated rotting meat stinks.

This rotten food (or almost any food) soon attracts disease-spreading house flies, which we don't really want. But the same food soon enough attracts thousands of much hungrier soldier fly larvae, given half the chance almost any month of the year.

Installing a highrise "apartment complex" for my Mason bees.
The bird feed is already extremely cheap. But to harvest the "grubs" for the birds to grub on, we just need a ramp so the larvae can climb out and harvest themselves. Most soldier fly bins I've seen are needlessly complex. Crack open one side of a covered tote bin, place it tilted on the ground, maybe propped up by a brick or stump and drill a strategic hole for them to wriggle out of. 

A bit of cardboard or wood along the top edge. Then toss in food scraps as desired.

"Clean food", which includes non-dairy, non-meat, non-rancid scraps (fruit and veg) can also be composted under a layer of wood chips. Just bury it and forget it like you do when planting your potato harvest. The chips will absorb any odor, keep it warm and moist to ensure excellent compost tea goes right on your garden bed.

Sewage processing: 

Birds poop. Hard to believe, but it's true.

Soldier flies will help, but only if your "immigration policy" allows it. If you keep some of your birds in a shack, a coop, a tool shed, or whatever, then good things can start to happen if you strategically allow a complete breakdown in sanitation standards.

The bad news is if you don't keep things clean, you'll get bugs. :(
And the good news is if you don't keep things clean, you get bugs! :D

Soldier fly larvae sell for about the same number of dollars per pound as quail meat. And your birds will eat them and turn them into meat and eggs. In other words, if you process them through birds, your most rancid, non-compostable GARBAGE becomes a rich, plentiful source of valuable bird feed, dollars, meat, and eggs.

This means when your bird runs to the little lady's room to "powder its nose", it produces even more dollars for you. It's a beautiful thing.

A gentleman farmer's work is never done. On average, it took about 6 hours of hard work per truckload.
About 8 hours counting breaks. So the unchipped branches were like unwelcome refugees who ruin everything.

Use of soldier flies may represent an impending renaissance in solid waste and sewage processing in septic systems and composting toilets, but for now I'll have to leave this to the licensed, certified, government-approved experts because it's still possible to screw it up. If you do absolutely nothing, soldier fly larvae may show up in your compost or composting toilet all by themselves. If so, you'll have even less odors to worry about from about March through November in many places.

It's not hard to hack your existing system to allow soldier flies in. Just leave a hole or two big enough in your vent screen and they'll very quickly figure it out for you. Other insects will also figure it out, so you might want a bug-eater (a bird) inside to help handle that situation for you and keep those insect populations to a dull roar.

Slugs and pests:

You'll have far fewer slug and pest problems with healthy plants. Birds will get some, but there's plenty for everybody. Your dog, when trained, will chase off the deer, bears, eagles and other thieves, easily earning his keep. (Dogs will work for carrots.)

You can even harvest your own wood chips by running pruned tree branches through a wood chipper. Or if they're too big, you can burn them for heat and put the ashes on your garden. If you don't have a stove, turn the branches into charcoal to cook with on your grill.

Unexpected benefits immediately: Garden-eating slugs instantly on the run from the new wood chips.
You just can't make this stuff up.

If you don't have a grill, get a stainless steel colander under to ghetto grill up some freshly-butchered quail and steaks.

You can spend some money. But you don't need to spend much.

Keep your house cool by cooking outside on the ghetto grill.
(A second colander can be used as a lid, if needed.)

According to Jesus, my job is to lead by example.  Which is one of the reasons I started a print newsletter. If we intend to survive the current nutrition famine (which is causing weakness and obesity), we need people who walk their talk.

So far, (please forgive me) I haven't thrown anyone in an oven yet.

The #1 biggest input for your food forest: Free Wood Chips.

To grow your own food, don't you need to buy huge sacks of compost, soil, manure, coconut coir, pH amendments, minerals, fungal, an aquaponic system and a giant tractor?

Nope. Don't even need a wood chipper, if you don't want one. The wood chips will even act as a compost pile to eventually "chip" your branches if you want to bury them. The forest floor does this automatically. That's what we're simulating. A suburban version.

I happen to have one of the fastest biomass-generators in the world. Enough to keep me in wood chips for a long time. In fact, my fastest-growing pine trees will eventually turn my whole neighborhood into a forest if I let them.

Right now they act as a wall between me and the Mexicans in my neighborhood.

One thing that resists being digested by the hungry composting effect is called the black locust tree, a fiercely thorny, nitrogen-fixing legume with anti-fungal properties. It also grows really fast and makes great fence posts and firewood, but not ideal for wood chips.

So I'd keep them for fencing, for their pest-repelling thorns to protect my garden plants. They crank out free "barbed wire". Use gloves. (So far, I haven't used the quail skins to make work gloves because a good pair of work gloves is well worth the cost.)

More than enough.

If you work this system, the inputs are free wood chips and the outputs are the world's most delicious food. With just an eighth of an acre, it's much more than you can eat. When it's loaded with minerals, you won't want or need to eat nearly as much.

You can sell off the extra stuff or give it away. With year-round delicious food that doesn't need help from a bottle of ketchup or ranch dressing to taste amazing, you've virtually eliminated your annual food expense. You've got an income generator that scales up.

Give some to your neighbors and they'll be begging you to farm some amazing food on their land in exchange for some fresh-grown groceries. Access to land will NOT be a problem once they get a free sample and hear you talk about the health benefits of eating real food from your garden.

I've gotten a free load of wood chips delivered by signing up to ChipDrop. It smells amazing because someone was getting rid of their lime trees. I even got some free limes in the deal.


You;ll want to be a little bit careful that you're not importing pesticides or heavy metals from strange chip drops.

One truckload is more than enough to support a complete garden, to green your lawn, to actually REDUCE your water usage on your lawn, which matters if you're paying for water, to reduce your sewage bill if you're a crazy loony leftist composting your own poo to grow your own "herb" illegally. (Don't.)


Trees attract birds and bumblebees. But why leave it to chance?

I've also drilled some horizontal holes in a stump to attract me some hard-working Mason bees, an even busier pollinator than those slacking, lazy, racially inferior honey bees. If they're not careful, the endangered honey bees could become Africanized, which is a fate worse than death. Pesticides threaten their very existence, and therefore ours.

But not if you're not relying on lazy, obsolete, do-nothing, partly-Africanized bees to farm your fields for you.

Lightweight, rickshaw-style cart makes moving large loads much easier. Easier is a good thing.

Roll Out:

The wheelbarrow I'm using is rickshaw-style, balancing the weight over the center of the load and has large, lightweight plastic wheels which makes moving it easier, and has a well-designed scoop-like plastic tub that makes loading and unloading lots easier.

My #1 favorite gardening tool. The EZ Cart
by Republic is the greatest of all garden inventions.

* I've photoshopped some photos to protect the
Fair Use is an AMAZING,
 humble Jesus-loving podcaster,
writer, blogger, newsletter publisher, and
self-appointed leader of the worldwide
white supremacist movement in the
Army of the Apocalypse
with an IQ significantly lower
than his height in centimeters but much
higher than his height in inches.

guilty. I'll disagree with none who call me an evil man, the worst of all sinners, and/or the least of all God's children, considering how well Jesus insists such people are to be treated. Forgive, or your Father will not forgive you. Fear God, not evil!


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